So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
My bed is full of blood and feathers
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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