i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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