it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
