I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
