"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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