that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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