let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
