You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
