I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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