You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
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