But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
