Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
this will be a night to untag.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
