i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
