you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize