It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
false alarm, still single
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
