Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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