You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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