Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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