thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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