got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
