I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
