oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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