Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
