She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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