GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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