So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
