I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
