Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
