Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
