We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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