that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
