the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
