we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
