whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
