Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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