Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
