There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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