Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
