it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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