he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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