Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
