2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
