I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
