I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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