yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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