can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
