i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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