Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
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