I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize