Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
