1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Randomize