Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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