My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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