just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
