Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
