god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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