i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
