But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
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