its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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