Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
