I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize