I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
