Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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