Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
