If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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