Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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