can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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