you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
