btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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