I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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