i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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